Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Things I have accomplished today:

1. Giving up on getting an antenna that works in our apartment.
2. Four handwritten letters, one accompanied by a package (bonus points!).
3. Cleaning up the family room, which has been strewn with multiple antennas, two televisions and a converter box.
4. Six 800m repeats that sucked.
5. Brushing my teeth.

This summer has turned into a time where I practice not finding my worth in what has actually been accomplished. I sleep until I want to get up (or until I fear the heat that will dominate my running experience that morning), I eat when I want, and I try to accomplish one tangible task for each day in addition to working out. (Non-tangible tasks include, but are not limited to book reading, nap taking, blog reading, internet surfing, and internet television watching)

I secretly think that getting rid of the internet would be a good thing for me, but since I already don't have television, that would leave me with the radio, and that would put me back to say the 50's? And I'm not that hardcore, though I would thoroughly enjoy having a larger selection of dresses in my wardrobe, which I could wear as I put dinner on the table for Curtis as he comes home from work. This would be an improvement on the mesh shorts I wear with cotton tank tops. But I digress...

As much as I feel like a "time waster" for not having jam-packed days filled with measurable productivity, granting me worth and value and much self-esteem, it's cleansing to remember that there is value in reflection, in journaling, in writing letters, in having the freedom to have a twenty minute conversation with the man stocking the diced tomatoes at the grocery store about his sons college decision making process. I'm not good at those things; they don't hold the tangible value that a good solid eight hours of teaching does, or the value of countless hours invested in a masters degree, or the value of coaching for hours after school and on the weekend. But tangible value, when it is all said and done, is just one kind of value. And there are so many things that never show a return, that can't be measured, and that few will ever notice...that are still important.

And so, in my two months of solitary summer existence, I hope to find myself immersed in such things...and that I won't scramble to defend my existence when asked, for the 407th time So, what are you doing this summer?

Thinking.
Writing.
Reading.
Talking.
Laughing.

...because I can, and because there is value in these things.

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