Friday, April 16, 2010

The End, and The Beginning


Yesterday was Curtis’s last day of medical school.
The tests, the studying, the lectures—over.

Just like that.

I told a student on my track team this while we were warming up, and he asked what we were going to do to celebrate. “We are going to a play,” I replied.

And he looked at me confused and said, “That’s not fun.” And kept running.

I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.

I have been struggling between apathy and nostalgia as I finish these last weeks of school, these last weeks in our apartment, these last weeks in this town. Some days I feel little motivation to do good work, “because” my mind reminds me “you’re leaving anyway.” Other days I am so overwhelmed with the memories that I try to soak up and maximize every moment and opportunity that comes within reach.

I feel like I am tied to a swinging pendulum over which I have no control, desperately trying to find some sense of normal while I am thrown back and forth between extremes.

We have had a beautiful life here in Ohio. Here we have become adults, become independent people, begun a marriage and established ourselves a people contributing to a community.

Here I have become a teacher, nurtured relationships, invested in lives.

Even as I mourn the loss of everything I love about this place, I squint my eyes and look forward, trying to determine the details of the future: where we will live, where I will work, who I will grow close to.

And even though it is blurry, there is promise in new beginnings, even as it is very much unknown.

*Comic was found here.

1 comment:

  1. "there is promise in new beginnings..."

    I am going to make that my mantra this week as I start thinking about the new beginnings I want for my life. There's so much fear tied to the unknown but the moment its revealed, it disappears.

    I'm excited for you! Just live the next few weeks doing what feels best to you!